The Heathen Family: Truly Extended Family
What was a family or sibb to ancient Heathens? Well it constituted all the kith and kin one knew. Families were not like the nuclear families of today with a mother, a father, and some children. They constituted grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins all from several generations. Many of these lived under the same household. But it did not end there. All those hold oathed to the members of the family were included as well as lesser members. While they would not have to pay wergild in case of a family member killing someone, they did owe the family all the loyalty that the oath called for. Today, kindreds mimic these ancient families though we have not yet achieved quite the situation that existed with ancient families. Our kith, our kin, all should form a part of our family.
Family does not just include the living though. The departed ancestors are included as well. They form as much a part of the family as the living. Thus they are respected on a regular basis with rites and prayers. The idesa (disir) or tribal mothers are especially important as they are what gave the family life. They are the ones that guard and ward the family, its luck, its holdings, and its folk. Societies with strong families have healthier individuals. So it is vital that Heathenry encourage the growth of kindreds and all matter of Heathen relationships, blood, oathed, and adopted. If we are to survive it is vital.
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July 23rd, 2010 at 11:20 am
This was a very timely article. We have in my Kindred been discussing this issue this week. The health of Heathenry. I agree with your statement and enjoyed it very much, thank you.
July 23rd, 2010 at 2:51 pm
As a female Asatruar, I can tell you that the pressure to have children is immense. There are many in Asatru who want to increase the amount of people raised without direct Christian influence (i.e. in heathen homes).
As someone who is married without children by choice, this pressure is starting to drive me away from group practice. Children are okay, and I enjoy spending time with the children of others, but I don’t want any of my own.
Those closest to me accept and try to understand my choice as best they can, although I do feel that they feel sorry for me for some reason.
In that tribal setting, aunts and uncles would play a much larger role than most do today – and it boggles my mind when I think of how many nieces, nephews, and godchildren I might end up with before my friends have left childbearing age.
You’re right – families aren’t just the "nuclear" family: mom,dad, and kids. Now, they encompass single parents, gay couples, and couples without children, as well as numerous other arrangements.
The understanding that a "healthy" family has a slightly different meaning for everyone will benefit Heathenry as a whole.
July 23rd, 2010 at 5:05 pm
Wassail, Audrey, I totally understand where you’re coming from. My girlfriend and I are done having kids. We took care of that many years ago, and those kids are going to do and be exactly what they want. I recently tried to talk to my daughter about Heathenry, and she’s decided she’s 100% atheist (for now). All I can do for her, spiritually, is keep her in my prayers, set a worthy example, and teach her, should she ever come to me with questions. Thinking that having children is a guaranteed way to add numbers to one’s kindred is extremely short-sighted, unrealistic, and, as a parent of a teenager, hilarious. Sure, they’ll make gatherings fun while they’re young and cute, but when they get old enough to step out into the big world, the last thing they’ll want to do is hang out with mom and dad. They are descended from nonconformists, after all. I think your inclination to be a cool aunt and godmother is where it’s at. After all, it was my stepmother, not my biological parents, who turned me on to paganism. My biological families think I’m immature at best, and insane at worst, for my Heathen faith.
Welga,
Isearn